Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I have seen a lot of things since I started working here, but nothing has prepared me for what has been going on this week. We are currently hosting something called the Romantic Getaway convention. Basically this is a group of horny, middle aged, unattractive women who write trashy romance novels to get together, dress up in clothes they have no business wearing, and play with sex toys. And this is all under the guise of Book Lovers/writers convention. Usually I would be cool with this. I mean, I love books. But we aren't even talking good trashy novels, this is fucked up trashy. Like Egyptian God comes down from the heavens to ravage the poor chained up slave girl. (Think I'm joking. I met the woman who it.)
And the costumes! Oh God, the costumes! I am currently trying to figure out a way to detach my retinas to ease the pain of having to look at them. There have been devils and flappers and fairies. And just so you know, dressing up as a fairy apparently exempts you from wearing shoes of any kind. (Ew.) The kicker had to be the woman who decided to dress up as a mermaid. (Not cute by any stretch of the imagination.) Now listen, there is nothing wrong with be a big girl. Nothing at all. But there is something terribly wrong with being a big girl and dressing like the Little Mermaid. Ariel you are not, honey.
I personally think it is a crime against humanity to have that many rolls squeezed into such tight clothing. Actually it is probably a crime of fashion, murdering those poor seams they way they are.
And it is not just the irresponsible clothing that gets me so pissy. It is also the cackling sound of their voices in the lobby at three thirty in the morning because they just have to discuss the plots of their newest books so they can get help with certain little points. I mean, really what is to happen to the poor Peruvian maiden after she twists her ankle near the camp of a horde of rugged hunters?
And, if you think the fact that they brought the 2007 Playgirl Man of the Year here to stand in the lobby is making me hate them any less, well then you would be wrong. Okay, for like five seconds I stopped hating, but for only those five seconds.
