I am sort of obsessed with the new website that is being advertised all over the television, ChristianMingle.com. Have you seen this? If not, this might say something that about the choices I make in the programming I watch. (As much as I would like to be able to cut Lifetime from my life, I just can’t. It’s too hard dammit.) Like, I’m so obsessed with the website, I sort of want to sign up for it, even though it is clearly not going to cater to the kind of dating I’m looking for. In fact, they are probably hardcore against it.
It just amuses me that this site is advertising that they can find God’s match for you. Like God doesn’t have better things to do than to sit behind a computer, matching up people who should probably be looking for their soul mate at church or something. And really, I find it just a tad been sacrilegious that this site even exists. I think it goes against the major plan. Isn’t being single, God’s way of telling you that you should be sad and lonely?
It’s the same principle that makes me really irritated at every church I pass that has about seven million sprinklers on their front lawn. Isn’t a drought God’s way of killing your grass? And isn’t running all those sprinklers going against God’s plan? And perhaps God is pissed because so many people are going against his wishes that he is punishing us with an even longer drought. So thank you, churches, it’s all your fault.
Luckily, I don’t have to worry about defying God, except for that whole dude shall not lie with dude thing, but whatev. You see, I don’t really have to go online to find my soul mate. God has already sent me the Popeye’s Biscuit and clearly that is a love that can span space and time.
By the way, go Facebook and like my ass please. Right now the only person who has liked me is me and that just really sad.
Didn't I text you about that site a while back? Where have you been. And I liked you, heiffer. So stuff it.
Posted by: Your Alpha Hag | June 15, 2011 at 10:25 PM