So today has been one of those days that has completely validated my argument that napping is completely awesome. After my day of complete naptitude, I actually had to join the real world and go back to work. For a whole three hours. I know. I absolutely exhausted myself. Now before you throw shit at me, I should explain that the reason I had to go in for only three hours is because I worked so many hours so far this week that I couldn’t work a full shift without racking up more than the approved amount of overtime. So don’t hate, bitches.
Now a while back I talked about how there is one constant in life and that is that there is always going to be an episode of Law and Order on any time you turn on the television. Well, I wasn’t quite right about that. There is another constant in life. And that is that no matter what or where I am, I will work with a completely inept human being. And that is no different at this job.
When you work the graveyard shift at this job, the only thing you really have to do is be there. You don’t even have to be awake. Yeah, that right. We get paid to sleep when we work the graveyard shift. So really the only thing you have to do is set an alarm to get up on time to make breakfast for the people we help. Well, my coworker can’t even do that. I showed up this morning to find her still asleep. I, at least, have the decency to be the fuck up when my relief comes in.
So I proceed to look at her like the moron she is. She responds to this look by saying, “I haven’t done anything yet,” and going back to sleep. So I basically had to do everything. And she had the nerve to get pissed off at me when I woke her up and random times for no reason whatsoever.
So she left and the rest of the shift went by so much better. It’s amazing how much easier things are when the stupid people go away.
Anyway, after work, I decided that since my coworker is such a moron, I deserved some pancakes. So I went to Denny’s. While I was there I ordered the much sought after pancakes and got a craving for some seasoned fries. What else was I supposed to do, but order them? I mean there are certain cravings that must not be ignored and seasoned fries are one of them.
Now I just want to say that pancakes and bacon with a side of seasoned fries is a completely acceptable breakfast. The look of judgy that the waitress gave me was completely unnecessary. Okay, so maybe seasoned fries are the most normal thing to get at 9:30 in the morning, yet I just don’t care. That’s the thing about being a fatass. You don’t get this waist size without being creative in your food choices. So don’t judge on me, especially when a tip depends on it.
See, this is why getting out of bed is just a bad idea and should be discouraged. In fact, I may never get out of bed again. Just as soon as I win the lottery, get a rich husband, or discover a delivery service whose sole purpose of existing is to fetch me shit, I am going to look into taking up permanent residence in my bed.
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