Sexually Harass This

I have taken this past week off from subbing so that I can do my training for another job. Yes, apparently two is just not enough. This is something to replace the hours that I was working at the hotel. And thankfully, this job is not at a hotel. I really don’t think I could have taken that kind of bullshit again. I mean really, I was about to go into bitterness overload and explode, which would just spread negativity throughout the world, and really isn’t it better that it just contained within me and given out in small doses. I don’t think anyone is quite ready for the negativity bomb that I would produce.

Anyway, this need for a job came after my attempt to hold a job as a paperboy. Yes, I was the person who was delivering the paper in the middle of the night. So when your paper ended up in the sprinkler, that was because of me. I lasted a whole week before I just called it quits. Actually, I didn’t so much call it quits as I lied to the people and told them that I had gotten a job offer in Dallas and had to leave immediately. It’s a big city, I doubt I am every going to run into them and if I do, well I’m already out of that job and I am not going back. Or I will just lie again and tell them that I am actually my twin brother and have no idea who they are and just walk away. Yeah, I am totally classy that way.

So for this new new job that I got, I am actually having to sit through a week of orientation training. Let me just say something. It’s a very good thing that I get paid for this week of training because I would not be doing something so painfully boring without some form of compensation. I mean it’s bad enough that I am having to listen to boring lectures about stuff that I am probably not going to have to know on the job anyway, but then I have to listen to all of the other people in the class. For all of those who think I am a bitch, you should meet the other people in there.

I mean, these people have spent the whole week bitching about every little thing. Their favorite thing is to complain about how much we are going to get paid. Um, yeah it’s not a lot but from what we’ve been told, we really aren’t going to be doing a whole lot of work. This job is basically a babysitting job where we just help the people who are actually licensed to do the main work. So we aren’t even babysitters, we are like assistant babysitters. And then all of them acted like it was a great big shock that they were getting paid so little. Were they drunk when they applied and missed the pay in big bold numbers? I would not be shocked if they were. And you should have heard the bitching when they found out that they had to take a test and weren’t going to be allowed to use the notes that they didn’t take. I mean what kind of school did they go to where the open book test was popular and why didn’t I go there?

But now that I have gone through yet another torturous orientation session, there is something that I would like to do. I want to get a group together (that basically means you) and declare jihad on all sexual harassment videos. You know you have seen them. They are fucking awful, and I cannot relate to any of them. You would think that companies would invest in updating these things so we don’t have to watch these women getting sexually harassed while wearing chunky power suits, shoulder pads as big as hubcaps, and hair that is bigger than my attitude. It’s just not sexy. And every one is so whiny in those videos. I have never seen a single person in any of these videos that I would actually want to sexually harass. Which doesn’t help me because when a hot guy is around, chances are good that I am going to sexually harass him in some way. I’m all about the “elevator eyes”.

All I’m saying is let’s invest in some videos that are made this century. Even the nineties would be better. The hair wasn’t nearly as atrocious. Though the clothes were. I still have some of mine in the closet. There’s been a lot of room in there since I came out of it.

Comments

[CarrieAnn]

LOL to the last line. I hate the sexual harassment training, too. I always have to go through it when I hire new people, most of whom are around 18 years old with raging hormones. A video would make it easier!

[Coco]

I just got my first job in 8 years. Fortunately I found someone so desperate for assistance (no I am not a hooker) that they didn't even train me. So now they let me file legal documents AND leave me alone in the office. Little do they know the last two work days have consisted of me watching the Tudors and getting all hot and bothered about Jonathan Rhys Meyers...