More World Domination

I’ve decided that I am going about this the wrong way. I’ve been bitching about things that have been going on in the classroom that quite literally make me want to pull my hair out. And seeing as I am bald, that isn’t really a good thing. Because then I am just digging at skin and then I am going to look like one of those horror movie villains and that just won’t be good because I do not look good in a red and black stripped sweater and fedora.

But what I have not realized until this moment is that I have an untapped commodity here. What is the one thing that I have always wanted my entire life? Well, yes, Lance Bass in my bed, but that’s not what I am talking about here. I am talking about minions. I want an army of them. It is the one essential element that I need in my quest for world domination.

Don’t lie. You totally want to be in a world where I am in charge. I’m talking full on party, while all the people we don’t like are made to do all of the grunt work. And there would be no more problems with high gas prices because there would be no need for cars. Why the hell do we need cars when we are going to have muscular men carry us every where. Yes, it will take a little longer, but imagine how much fun it is going to be to watch them sweat.

Okay, a little off topic there. See none of that will come to pass until I get me some minions. And I have a classroom full of kids who are perfect for the job. I mean really, how skilled do you have to be when your main job requirement is to fetch me shit?

So now I just have formulate a plan to somehow get these children on my side. It shouldn’t be too hard since the kids actually seem to like for some unknown reason. I can’t figure it out myself because I actually have to be mean to them most of the time because they are pretty terrible in the classroom. But they do, so it should be too hard to mold them into a suitable army.

So be on the lookout for when my formidable army comes to your town. You will, of course have no defense against them because who is going to harm cute little kids, no one that’s who. We will be like the Borg. My army will be recruiting the kids in all of your elementary schools. And then we will be truly unstoppable.

If you were smart, you would join my side now. Some of the noises these kids make are considered a form of torture in 37 states. It’s a weapon of mass destruction that I am totally willing to use in my quest. I am, of course, always taking applications for minions. Join now or face my minions.

Comments

[Billy]

A minion I shall not be, But I will totally sign up on your support staff. I want to be a minister of something... You can pick ;)

[Toni]

You also need a hag. I qualify, I'm a ginger and I'm fat. But in a cute way.