Hola

So I am done training for my new job. I am just going to say that after working two shifts, I have found that calling this a job is an insult to jobs everywhere. It is like the easiest thing I have ever done. I actually slept through part of my shift and not only didn’t get in trouble for it, my coworkers told me that I could bring a pillow with me next time. And I get paid for it.

But now that I am not in training, I am back at school. The school I am at has actually locked me into a long term position in the same class. This is actually a good thing because it means I always have a job. The bad part of it is that it is a bilingual class. Now I am sure I have documented many times here that I don’t speak Spanish. It’s just this really weird setup that I don’t quite understand, but I am willing to put up with for a higher paycheck.

Now being in a bilingual class when you don’t speak Spanish is like being stuck in a really bad episode of Dora the Explorer. That seems a little redundant because every episode of Dora that I have ever watched (and by watched I mean fallen asleep with the television on and woken up to it playing) has been atrocious. And now that is my life, except it doesn’t have that little homo Diego in it.

The kicker is these kids totally speak English just fine. I’ve heard them do it. But when I come around it’s all No Hablo Ingles. Then what proceeds is a thoroughly unproductive lesson taught primarily in fucked up Spanglish that just leaves me more confused then when we started. The cycle just repeats itself until the kids finally get annoyed with me and start speaking English like they have miraculously received the gift of tongues.

But sadly, their gift doesn’t last very long because the next day it’s all No Hablo Ingles again. It’s like the battle between good and evil, except I don’t really know which side is which. All I know is the day usually ends with me slamming my head repeatedly into the board while the kids stare at me uncomprehendingly.

I’ve taken to smuggling a DVD player and my massive collection of Disney movies into school. It’s interesting how the kids claim to understand a single word I say, but they know every world of The Lion King. So yes, some days I say fuck it and let Disney be the teacher.

Besides, movie time give me a change to rest the giant bruise on my head. It’s getting pretty bad. I’m starting to look like one of those creatures out of Avatar.

Comments

[Coco]

Diego the homo? No way. He's enthusiastic about stupid shit and most certainly a "save the world" type hippy but not gay. Boots on the other hand is ready to go work at a drag show and make good use of his favorite red boots... and make magic with those jazz hands...