I know you might be thinking I am beating a dead horse with this issue, and to that I say, tough shit. This is my website and I will beat a dead horse, a dead cow, and a dead emu if I feel like it, dammit. And really, since I quite the hotel and have been deprived of the ignorant masses to make fun of, I really tend to harp on the smallest thing that crosses my path. Like children hitting adults and thinking that is kosher.
As sad as it is to say, I am not even talking about the first grader who punched me. I am talking about another student. Don’t worry, they are both at the same school, so at least some of the crazy is contained inside the walls of one fucked up institution. This time it was even worse than a first grader. It was a pre-kindergartener. Like what the fuck is up with that. I would have totally expected it to be a fourth grader or something. Because back in the day, there were a great many times that I wanted to slap the living shit out of my teacher. In my defense, she was a complete bitch and could have benefitted from a good punch to the face. And really, my fat 4th grade self would have been the perfect person to give it to her.
And seeing exactly how crazy kids are these days, you would expect that from a 4th or 5th grader. (Moving up into the higher grades, you tend to expect more of the shanking and selling into white slavery.) But a pre kindergartener, not so much. Because really how fucking hard is a pre kindergartener’s life? I mean, you come in. You color. You eat lunch. You go to recess. You take a nap. You have a snack. You go home. The only thing you are really expected to do is learn to write your name. Fuck. Life is sweet. Enjoy that shit while you can.
But luckily, I was not the one who got slapped by a pre kindergartener. It happened to a woman who is a lot better than me. Because if it had been me, that little girl would be transported home via some sort of giant sling shot. She would just be gone. There would be no mystery as to what happened. She took it a lot better than me and just transported this little monster to the office, where she was promptly suspended for two days.
Yeah, she got off a little light in my opinion, but they obviously didn’t ask for my opinion in this matter. The sooner people would realize I know exactly what to do in these matters, the better off these people would be. I mean they didn’t invent expulsion for no reason.
So can anyone guess what the mother’s reaction to her evil little daughter’s suspension was? Oh yeah, she was pissed. She proceeded to bitch and moan for like 20 minutes about how it was unfair that her daughter was being suspended. And of course this is done in full view of half the school, like a true classy person. So after the big white trash tirade, the little girl was still suspended. Well, the mother did the unthinkable. She pulled her daughter out of the school.
Okay, bad parents of the world, here’s a little inside information for you. If your child is evil and you feel that their suspension is unfair so you pull that evil child out of school, you didn’t punish anyone. In fact, the second you left all the teachers had a little party in the lounge. There was cake. It was delicious.
So I hope that woman is having fun with her little demon spawn at home because the whole school is treating this as a holiday. I can’t speak for everyone, but it is nice to know that I don’t have to wear protective armor into a pre K class.
A giant slingshot! I want one of those!
Posted by: CarrieAnn | February 03, 2011 at 07:43 AM